Truth Behind It All

I wish I had some profound insight to share. But instead it is the simplest concept that for some reason I struggle with day after day after day and today it hit me hard. This blog post may not pertain to you.... Honestly, it's a blog post for me: To write out something that I have let slip in my life. But to write it out publicly for all to see and read is humbling, but very powerful to break the chains.  There is a beauty behind true unveiled honesty in the body of Christ. We cannot be perfect, we must show that we all mess up.

We all fall. But at least we fall with our faces to the ground in complete surrender at the feet and our loving God.

So here's what I struggle with:
Be Still.

Such small words. Actually only two simple words. But two of the hardest things to do in my life. Even with writing this last sentence I have gotten up three times.
Once to go to the bathroom
Twice to go put my slippers on
Annnnnd three times to go make dinner.
Get the point? May biggest problem is sitting still and the ADD in my life does not help the fact.

I just got back from an incredible weekend with some of the most awesome people. It was refreshing, fun, and exactly what I needed.
The minute I got home I instantly hit the ground running. I had a list in my mind that kept growing of the amounts that must be done; lesson plans, papers to print, candy to bag(math incentives because I just *have* to be the best teacher out there) and groceries to buy. This is the point in the blog where the truth truly comes out. Half way through the craziness I created in my life, I literally had a panic attack. Full out crying, couldn't breathe, freaking out...

Why did I have this panic attack? Because I provoked it on myself.
Why do I have anxiety? Because I do not sit still and trust that God has everything under control.
So simple. "Be still, Mary, and know that I am God." Not,  "Run all your errands, do everything with your own power, try to be perfect, maybe pray on the way to the store, and know that I am God." That last sentence sounds so funny, but it is exactly what I try to do day after day.

We(meaning "me", I just feel better saying "we") fill our lives so completely full that we leave no time for God to work in our lives and through our lives. We complain that we do not see God moving in our lives. Well, look at your planner for the day, have you left a minute to spare for God? I know I can't say that.
Life is so short. Life is so urgent right now. There is no more time to waste. I need to wake up to the realization and the beauty behind being still and knowing God in my life and through my life. No longer making excuses for time. No longer having anxiety attacks because I make my life so busy I lose sight of the true purpose of this life. To love God, love others, and share the good news wherever we go.

BE. STILL.