Something that they can talk about to student teachers, but never fully prepare them for is the impact that your students' lives will have on you personally in your own life.
As a 5th and 6th grade teacher I am in charge of 40 beautiful little lives. Not only do I have those 40 students, but I also have many middle school and high school students that have been coming to my room during my breaks.(Possibly because my desk is full of dark chocolate...It's a must as a teacher, don't judge) I have had the pleasure to get to know them personally and I have even had the privilege to be able to tutor some as well. I also have 3rd and 4th graders in the morning for reading groups an hour a day.
The more I get to know my students, the more they open up to me. To be honest, the things my students tell me have sometimes completely caught me off guard. Thankfully there is a good amount of students that have great home situations, friend groups, academics are high. However, many of these students go through situations that nobody should ever go through. Yet, they still show up in the morning, they still are expected to pass the state standards with a certain score, they are still expected to sit still and comprehend the materials even when their little minds are consumed with situations that I could never even imagine.
As a new teacher I have been completely overwhelmed by the situations that these students have gone through; the situations they bring to me as their teacher. Many times I have had to legally get involved and the ones I don't, I always have to find words of comfort to calm them. You see, nothing can prepare a person for these situations; for these precious little souls that come into your life with no hope, peace, or source of joy except what they find at school.
I was crying one afternoon after a situation I had to legally get involved with and then fill out papers for. I was so angry, upset, sad, and confused about the life/world this student had lived in. It wasn't fair. Someone came into my room and told me that it was going to be okay; to just wait till I have been teaching for awhile...then I would become used to it and get thicker skin. They told me that these situations wouldn't bother me as much. At first I let that consul me, but then I began to think about that.
You see, I don't want to become "used" to these situations that I deal with every day as a teacher. If I become "used" to them, that means I have become numb to the pain and hurt that my students go through unfairly. I pray that I never become numb to someone's life that is so touched by evil. I pray that God will daily break my heart for what breaks His. That when I cry, it is because God is crying for his child that is hurting and broken. Lord, help me to never become "used" to a situation that involves evil in someones' life.
So I guess this blog is really for me, or it can be for someone else. I just pray that as humans in a world that is so consumed by evil doings, that we never become numb or blind to it. That it will continue to break our hearts. That it will continue to move us to fight for the lost and the broken. To fight for the souls that do not have the strength to fight anymore. To love with an unconditional love for the sweet lives that have no love left; that have never felt love.
Please, don't ever become numb to this world and the evil around us.
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