Saipan?

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up again the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Saipan.

For years I have wanted this trip. I have always told people that I am going to teach across seas my last year at Lee. Now that it was finally here, it was everything I didn't want. Everything I wanted to run from. People would ask me if I was excited and I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't. I wasn't excited at all. How do you tell people that? I would mumble out some random response that usually had a "kind of" and a "little nervous...not sure what to think...but still excited""Ready to be on the plane."
I was confused by the emotions I felt, concerned that I wasn't following God's will, almost mad that I wasn't excited any more. Something was wrong with me.

It wasn't until I was on the plane that God hit me with the verse above, "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does." There's warfare inside of us...a spiritual warfare around in and around us. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up again the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

I was on the plane, panicking; no turning back now, no staying home, no time for regrets. When I read this verse instantly relief came over me. A peace came through me and this peace was from God. He showed me that I am exactly where He wants me. Saipan is where God has a crazy plan for my life.

I don't write this in a prideful way, but in a humble admiration and confidence to an all incredible God that orchestrates my life to follow His will. 

In a weird sense of way, God showed me that because I was having such a crazy spiritual warfare inside of me, this was even more confirmation that I was to go to Saipan. God's plan is so great for me here, that of course the enemy does not want me to come here, to Saipan. Of course the enemy wants me to stay in Cleveland, TN; exactly where I am not supposed to be, but exactly where I felt like I wanted to be; my comfort zone, my security. The enemy would have loved nothing more if I had followed my fears and stayed home.

So all this to write, oh what an incredible confirmation in a backwards sort of way that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Thank you God for this spiritual battle and the emotions that I could not even explain. Thank you for guiding my steps and my path, even when I have no idea where I am headed. These two months will be the craziest two months; the most challenging and growing, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else besides the center of God's beautiful will for my life.